Did you head into this year with a “new year, new you” mindset? Have you now gone straight back to old habits, frustration and beating yourself up for yet another failure? Listen, back off, give yourself some grace! Honestly it isn’t your fault! You weren’t set up for success, you were set up to fail so of course that’s what happened! But now it’s time to make big changes!
The most important thing you can do now is find out what sabotaged your best intentions and resolve it! You need to change your approach! Because, let’s be honest, if we don’t make a change we’ll be making and breaking the same resolutions year after year. The only potential adjustment being the number of pounds we need to lose has gone up, and so has the number of cigarettes we smoke. And now we have so many more years invested in a dead-end career, bad relationship or many more failed relationships! But why exactly does this happen when we have the best of intentions and what can we do differently to make this year’s resolutions stick?
Why You Failed to Make Big Changes
To better understand how to resolve your resolution frustration you must figure out what’s gone wrong. There is a reason why you were unable to stick to your plans and when you discover the pitfalls that snagged you up you can avoid them! You know what they say… the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So, let’s stop the insanity! Make big changes!
How did you go about choosing your new year’s resolution? Did you randomly pick something? Did you spend about 5 minutes thinking “my life would be so much better if…” and settle on that?
When we choose our new year’s resolutions, we generally do it in the 6 days between Christmas and New Years Eve. Essentially squashed between parties, cleaning and undecorating. We wedge it into a limited, chaotic time and somehow, we expect ourselves to come up with something truly life altering. Clearly that is NEVER going to work! How committed can you really be to something you chose off the top of your head in a moment of distraction? How much clarity can you have about your goals? The thought that you can randomly pull an idea out of thin air and have it stick is really oversimplifying and minimizing the process of change. Even if you have “always wanted” this change, it isn’t that simple!
Did you make your resolution too big? Were you expecting a complete life or health overhaul? Often, we have too many resolutions or we choose one that is too broad and never bother to break it down into smaller parts!
It’s a grand goal to want to get healthy or lose weight but what are the actionable items there. Was your resolution some vague pie in the sky ideal? Are there 5 or even 15 tasks you associated with your resolution that you were suddenly expecting yourself to include in your daily life?
Very often we bite off more than we can chew! We have great intentions, but you can’t overhaul your entire life in one fail swoop and expect it to stick! You’ll find yourself becoming frustrated, overwhelmed and eventually you’ll burn out. This is so common that there’s an actual burn out date… March 2, and we’re well past that now! Most people only get to the beginning of March and then quit! It’s not just you!
But if you can identify what derailed you and get back on track imagine what you could accomplish this year! You might hit your goal weight, change careers, find yourself in a happy relationship! You may even set a completely new resolution for next year!
Failing to Plan
You know the saying if you fail to plan you plan to fail? There are few truer things said! Somehow, we expect that we will magically be transported to our best selves simply by stating our resolution! Why don’t we take the planning component more seriously? Well… because we don’t have time (or we don’t take the time)! How do you expect to achieve your lofty goals if you don’t make a plan or a road map or even a basic outline as to how to get there?
Planning keeps you on task and prevents you from taking everything on at once and becoming overwhelmed! We all know that we need a plan!
Lack of Accountability
Speaking of keeping you on task… few things help more with that than having accountability! Don’t go it alone!
It makes sense that we so often avoid accountability! Asking for accountability or simply telling someone what your resolution is might be embarrassing. Especially if you’ve had the same one for 5 years running (or more)! But again, how’s that working for you? Are you getting any closer to accomplishing what you’ve set out to do?
Make Big Changes : The Path to Success
I’ll bet you could relate to a thing or two you read above! But don’t give up on your new year’s resolution just yet!
Creating a resolution or intention for each new year is an excellent way to make changes you’re dreaming of and create a life you love! That doesn’t mean that you must wait until new year though… or even Monday! You can recommit to your resolution or make big changes ANY TIME you choose! Why not now??? Follow these simple tips to not only refine and recommit to your resolution but to also ensure that you accomplish your goal!
Make a Thoughtful or Intuitive Choice
Don’t feel stuck forcing yourself to recommit to a resolution you spent a week or less choosing! Spend some time thinking about your long-term goals! What will it take to get from here to there? In what order do you need to accomplish the steps? Don’t rush it… really take the time to evaluate this! Because, if you take the time you need to set yourself up for success, you’re less likely to quit. Now, when you’re ready… start at step one! Not step 15! And give yourself plenty of time to get to step 15 and learn along the way!
Making your resolution part of the path to your long-term goals helps you stay focused on it long term which makes easier to accomplish! You’ll be more successful if you see it as part of a bigger vision or a smaller component that you can cross off a to-do list! Breaking down your long-term goals and creating a path to accomplish them is the best way to get what you want out of life and make big changes!
Break it down and Make a Plan
Speaking of breaking things down… break your resolution down too! Don’t expect that you’ll get it all done in one month or wait until the last minute. Make a plan for what you’ll work on each month (or, better yet, week) to complete what you’ve set out to do!
This will keep you from taking on too much all at once and burning out. Say good-bye to being overwhelmed! Making your resolution more task based also helps give you direction which makes it easier to make big changes. Few things feel better than clear tangible progress! Each accomplishment catapults you to the next! When you start to build some momentum not only will you stick with it, but you’ll be UNSTOPPABLE!
Pro-Tip: Allow at least 6 weeks in your planning to create a new habit before moving on to the next step! Don’t rush it!
Review and Adjust Your Plan
How will you ever know if your plan is working and feel that awesome sense of accomplishment if you don’t review your plan? Set a regular day that you go over your plan and make any necessary adjustments. Sometimes people like to do this on Mondays, the last day of the month or once a quarter. I like to do all the above! It’s a lot easier to make little tweaks in the plan if you discover an issue early on.
Perhaps you thought something would take more time to accomplish or less! Adjusting your plan will keep you from feeling overwhelmed or under challenged! By definition, a resolution is a change… this means it’s something new. So, that means you don’t really know how long each of the tasks will take. Being flexible will keep you from getting disheartened or bored which will help you make big changes!
Get accountability and support
Find some other likeminded people and get accountability and support! They don’t have to have the same resolution as you to hold you accountable or offer support!
Friends & Family
Make sure that your friends and family (those nearest and dearest to you) know what your resolution is and are aware of any plans you have. If you can think of specific things, they can do to offer help or support let them know! Would you like a weekly check in? Do you want your mom to stop bringing you fresh baked goods? They won’t know if you don’t tell them!
Involve someone you see regularly! If you don’t see friends or family often but have a co-worker, you feel comfortable with, fill them in! It can be very helpful to have someone we see every day (or regularly) know what we’re up to. They are often our first line of accountability. Even if they aren’t close enough to us to hold our feet to the fire seeing someone every day who knows your goal will often make you feel more convicted!
Find a Partner
Find a partner who has a similar goal. Having a workout or study buddy can be very helpful! If someone is counting on you to show up at the gym (and will notice if you don’t) you’re more likely to go. This is also true if you’re both working to complete 20 pages of your novel or organize one room in your house. Even though you aren’t technically doing it together you are both participating. This creates a different level of accountability! Making big changes is easier with company!
Hire a professional
If you put your money where your mouth is it might give you some extra motivation to get it done! And a professional can be worth their weight in gold!
A personal trainer can keep you on task and help prevent injury so you can stick with your work out plans! A professional organizer can help you develop new systems and keep you from having to move everything 5 times! And a life coach or therapist can help you figure out what’s holding you back, reflect on your true goals and needs and learn to prioritize yourself (among other things).
Find an online community to support and encourage you! You can share tips and struggles and uplift each other any time, day or night! Sometimes it’s easier to be more open and candid via keyboard. We don’t feel as much pressure or embarrassment when we don’t have a personal relationship.
One of my favorite methods of creating online accountability is taking pictures of myself completing my tasks and posting them in Instagram stories! I recently committed to 100 workouts in 100 days and having this accountability made ALL the difference! I receive many comments regarding my stories and if I didn’t post I got messaged as well! It’s an amazingly supportive community and I’m grateful for it. (You can follow me on insta and check it out… plus, I’ll follow back to hold you accountable too)!
Speaking of which, I am a great source of online support and accountability and I even have an online community that’s committed to helping you accomplish your goals. I hope to see you there!
Looking online is also a great way to find people to connect with who have similar goals! Just be sure that you are careful when it comes to taking online relationships into real life. Even if you are joining a running club you found online be sure to meet in a public place, make sure someone knows who you’re with and what you’re doing and have a check in time!
Resolution success is not guaranteed if you follow these steps, but it is MUCH more likely! If you don’t want to keep setting the same resolution year after year and you want to feel the pride of having accomplished what you set out to do, give these tips a try! What do you have to lose? Recommit to your new year’s resolution or create a new life change TODAY!
If you feel inspired and want to recommit to your resolution or make a new commitment to change, GET SUPPORT!!! You’ll LOVE my Resolution & Change Workbook! It’s a step by step guide that walks you through how to choose your change, make a plan and re-evaluate your progress! You won’t believe how simple it is to set and accomplish your goals with this tool!
Share this! Help others find success with their changes and goals!